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CHAPTER 5

I often felt abandoned even if I wasn’t really left. I was hurt again and again. I expressed to them and felt it was not received appropriately. I felt vulnerable because every time a piece of my soul was left inadequately or entirely unattended. So I registered my dissent by anguish, separation and denial. I assumed that I cared not. I confined myself or in a better way to put, restricted others from a view through my windows. Sometimes I build such walls that I forgave them and also forgot them. Presence and absence of others were belittled.

A LITTLE REARRANGEMENT OF MY DESK


Things on my desk

Were struggling

For an appearance

That at least for once

They would be revisited

And warmed

By a gentle touch.

In fear of being missed

By a hand, they would

Slip over each other

And even sometimes

Spill the colors and inks

In angered expression.

This crave for attention

Made me rearrange

My thoughts and desk

So, I picked

To abandon people

Even before

I could be abandoned by them.